Today, I did a very bad thing. I stepped on a scale.
Now, being the young and vivacious woman I am, I suppose I should have nothing to worry about. I am- or,well, was -relatively comfortable in my body, I don't have any eating disorders, and gorramit, them Krispy Kremes are so devilishly tempting. But then, your sneaky twin sister goes on Facebook and gushes about how great her put-together life is and how hard it is to find a belt for her size 4-6 jeans and how life is so unfair that Victoria Secret has just so many (squee!) pretty patterned bras that she just can't stand it! Then, you look down at your nutritiously complete breakfast of Sesame Chicken and white rice and you begin to hate yourself.
Oh yes, after I finished my chicken with every contemptuously defiant air I could muster, I pulled out that scale. I stepped on it like Marie Antoinette to the guillotine and I looked down upon my fate. I was neither a very happy, nor a very little piggy. I went through the normal stages of grief: denial, killing things, felling sorry for myself, justifying eating a handful of pretzels, and finally, acceptance. I accept that I will not be showing my face in a bathing suit this summer, but I darn well don't have to like it! I also accept that D-cup bras are better than B-cups, even without the pretty patterns. Put that in your cud and chew it, chickie.
I grumped myself to work and whined about it to a friend who, very conveniently (I had no knowledge of this, I swear), procured Just Dance and Wii Fit for herself. Providential! I now have a exercise buddy! If I ever get up off my butt to walk the two perilous blocks to her house, that is.
I'm not quite sure of my point in all this. Maybe to sift through all the crap your little personal devil is telling you and to come away with at least one thing you can appreciate about yourself? Small consolations still count. So what if I have a tummy to work on? I bring all the boys to the yard. Werk.
"Who wants a twig when you can climb the whole tree?"- Motormouth Maybelle, Hairspray.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Let the First Among Us.
Today, I was witness to something very disturbing and sad. While enjoying the various delicacies of my college's cafeteria, I noticed that one young man was a little more bouncy than usual. In fact, he was dancing to the music. This is not an unexpected occurrence with this young man as he usually bops his way through classes and work and is a generally sunshiny and vivaciously loud person even with the handicap of Asperger Syndrome. Usually, no one gives him much attention and leaves him to do his own thing with a sort of friendly or at least accepting indifference to his antics. Today, however, one young lady was sitting with her friends and watching him. No misdemeanor there, many people watch him. But then came the point where I wish to call attention to. She pulled out her phone and recorded him. At first, I thought it was some sort of between friends "let's tape X and then we'll all laugh about it together with him later" sort of a thing. No harm in taping friends for future blackmail and general merriment, right? Right.
Then, I looked closer. Those were not the laughs of innocent fun, but those speaking a far worse message. They said: "How funny! He's so weird! Ohmaigawd." Those laughs I cannot suffer to continue. Marching myself over there, I asked her if she was friends with him. No. This is where we cue my disapproving look and guttural sigh of derision. Keeping them in check, I told her that her actions were just plain cruel if she wasn't his friend, to which her response was: "He's in one of my classes...and, it's just so funny! I'm not being cruel!"
I repeated my accusation and told her she should do the kind thing and delete the video. She gave me a blank look and then I couldn't take it anymore. I left. But to her and all those who are out there like her, I ask this:
Where is your sense of decency? If you aren't his friend, what purpose do you have for recording this? To upload it onto youtube out of fun? Don't give me that load of crap. How kind do you think the vast reaches of the internet will be to this poor boy? Is it kind and charitable to subject him to that type of ridicule from his peers? If you are keeping this video on you phone to share with your friends for kicks and giggles later, I still ask, what's the point? If you share the video at all, you are still finding amusement at his expense, which is cruel and unwarranted. He did nothing to you.
Maybe this spew of anger from me is unjust, but I don't think so. Please, please, please. For the love of all that is good in this world, think. Grow up and stop this behavior. He can't help himself from feeling joy when he hears music and does not have the social graces and awareness that the rest of us have to contain his joyful dancing. You can help yourself from being mean and publicizing his unintentional foolishness, or even at laughing at him. Just because he is different from you does not make him any less cherished and loved for the person he is. I am not the perfect person, but I have learned that each person is unique and treasured by someone. How dare I mock anyone, especially someone who doesn't have the capacity to recognize or change their behavior to fit to social norms.
Then, I looked closer. Those were not the laughs of innocent fun, but those speaking a far worse message. They said: "How funny! He's so weird! Ohmaigawd." Those laughs I cannot suffer to continue. Marching myself over there, I asked her if she was friends with him. No. This is where we cue my disapproving look and guttural sigh of derision. Keeping them in check, I told her that her actions were just plain cruel if she wasn't his friend, to which her response was: "He's in one of my classes...and, it's just so funny! I'm not being cruel!"
I repeated my accusation and told her she should do the kind thing and delete the video. She gave me a blank look and then I couldn't take it anymore. I left. But to her and all those who are out there like her, I ask this:
Where is your sense of decency? If you aren't his friend, what purpose do you have for recording this? To upload it onto youtube out of fun? Don't give me that load of crap. How kind do you think the vast reaches of the internet will be to this poor boy? Is it kind and charitable to subject him to that type of ridicule from his peers? If you are keeping this video on you phone to share with your friends for kicks and giggles later, I still ask, what's the point? If you share the video at all, you are still finding amusement at his expense, which is cruel and unwarranted. He did nothing to you.
Maybe this spew of anger from me is unjust, but I don't think so. Please, please, please. For the love of all that is good in this world, think. Grow up and stop this behavior. He can't help himself from feeling joy when he hears music and does not have the social graces and awareness that the rest of us have to contain his joyful dancing. You can help yourself from being mean and publicizing his unintentional foolishness, or even at laughing at him. Just because he is different from you does not make him any less cherished and loved for the person he is. I am not the perfect person, but I have learned that each person is unique and treasured by someone. How dare I mock anyone, especially someone who doesn't have the capacity to recognize or change their behavior to fit to social norms.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wisconsin Rantings Part One
One day, I'll get to the point where I'll post regularly. That's a lie.
One of the greatest trials one can overcome is their cultural upbringing. For example, coming from the Northeastern Wisconsin portion of the United States puts me into a certain bias/ niche/ whatever that changes my views and perceptions of things.
Family
The private university I attend draws students from all fifty states, as well as many foreign countries. Talking with many of my friends has certainly opened my eyes to the differences in family structure between regions. One girlfriend "R" came to me slightly frustrated with her boyfriend "B" (hee. R &B...I really need to stop), who happens to hail from Michigan. R lives in North Carolina. She could not, for the life of her, understand why B kept using very final-sounding phrases like "You are my family now" when in conversation about their upcoming marriage. She was also confused as to why his mother was taking it so hard. Guaranteed, B is the oldest of ten children and any mother has the potential to be the ugly mother-in-law, but still. What was going on?
Firstly, I had to explain the Northern way of the family (le sigh). Just to be clear: this is a generalization based on my observations and my own personal experiences, and if you happen to have a loving, wonderfully accepting northern family, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD; ADOPT ME! Ahem...then you may also disregard this post. Generally speaking, Northern families tend to be a bit more...cold...than other families. Once a child breaks away to marry someone, that child has thereby separated themselves from the original unit. The new family visits the original unit on Christmas and Easter only...any other holidays are special treats. It is not the Southern sort of hospitality where family is welcome at any time, in any weather. No, there must be a formal invitation for a visit to Grandma's, and things should be planned out. Auntie Fran always brings the broccoli salad, Uncle Greg always supplies the beer. So, when B told R "You are my family now" he sincerely meant it. He is planning on giving up everything he has in the way of family for her. She is his family. We take the ol' "leave and cleave" pretty serious up nort'.
One of the greatest trials one can overcome is their cultural upbringing. For example, coming from the Northeastern Wisconsin portion of the United States puts me into a certain bias/ niche/ whatever that changes my views and perceptions of things.
Family
The private university I attend draws students from all fifty states, as well as many foreign countries. Talking with many of my friends has certainly opened my eyes to the differences in family structure between regions. One girlfriend "R" came to me slightly frustrated with her boyfriend "B" (hee. R &B...I really need to stop), who happens to hail from Michigan. R lives in North Carolina. She could not, for the life of her, understand why B kept using very final-sounding phrases like "You are my family now" when in conversation about their upcoming marriage. She was also confused as to why his mother was taking it so hard. Guaranteed, B is the oldest of ten children and any mother has the potential to be the ugly mother-in-law, but still. What was going on?
Firstly, I had to explain the Northern way of the family (le sigh). Just to be clear: this is a generalization based on my observations and my own personal experiences, and if you happen to have a loving, wonderfully accepting northern family, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD; ADOPT ME! Ahem...then you may also disregard this post. Generally speaking, Northern families tend to be a bit more...cold...than other families. Once a child breaks away to marry someone, that child has thereby separated themselves from the original unit. The new family visits the original unit on Christmas and Easter only...any other holidays are special treats. It is not the Southern sort of hospitality where family is welcome at any time, in any weather. No, there must be a formal invitation for a visit to Grandma's, and things should be planned out. Auntie Fran always brings the broccoli salad, Uncle Greg always supplies the beer. So, when B told R "You are my family now" he sincerely meant it. He is planning on giving up everything he has in the way of family for her. She is his family. We take the ol' "leave and cleave" pretty serious up nort'.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Poetry Barf.
Conversation knows too little,
Silence knows too much.
The harsh words falling from your lips
Cannot negate your touch.
------------------------------------------------------
Gather her up, boy.
Tell her you'll be there always,
Before it's too late.
Listen to her, boy.
Hear what she says without words.
She tells you the truth.
-------------------------------------------------------
A wish, a wanting.
The fondest desire of a heart
may not be the correct plans
laid for a life.
So what then?
--------------------------------------------------------
Symphony
A silent cry
that carries a secret wish
begging to be loved
Photograph
One moment in time
sealed off forever
And you forgot to smile.
Silence knows too much.
The harsh words falling from your lips
Cannot negate your touch.
------------------------------------------------------
Gather her up, boy.
Tell her you'll be there always,
Before it's too late.
Listen to her, boy.
Hear what she says without words.
She tells you the truth.
-------------------------------------------------------
A wish, a wanting.
The fondest desire of a heart
may not be the correct plans
laid for a life.
So what then?
--------------------------------------------------------
Symphony
A silent cry
that carries a secret wish
begging to be loved
Photograph
One moment in time
sealed off forever
And you forgot to smile.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Imaginings
Imagination is a beautiful and scary thing, my friend. Anything is possible inside your imagination, which, I suppose could be wonderful...if your body had no limitations. So, to pacify ourselves, some of us (me, and I know I'm not the only one) make up stories beginning from the question "what if..."
"What if there was this village that was totally burned down by mercenaries- leaving only one survivor, a girl, and a young healer found her, thus igniting THE GREATEST, MOST WONDERFUL AND ENDURING LOVE EVER BORN!"
Far-fetched? Of course. Fun and time-consuming? Hells yes.
The best part about this sort of imagining is that you have to make it work. You have to make an unbelievable plot, full of holes, believable. You have the opportunity to create fantastical worlds and memorable characters while researching about these ideas, making them plausible enough to not sound entirely stupid. You say you want to torture your characters in a dungeon? Great! TO THE GOOGLECAVE!!!
Find out about your subject, research and explore what other authors/ historians have said about the nature of your subject. Then write it down. It always helps me to make notes about what I find...I also get a laugh when other people find my notes.
"Uhhh....Kureaa?"
"Huh? Yeah?"
"Why are you writing about sexual abuse...and whips...chains...and -WHAT?!?!?!"
"Oh! You mean the part about 16th century medicine and cauterizing?"
"....I- I have to leave."
One way to help these imaginings along is though the venue of role playing. You can find one or even a few friends to write a story with you, which would make it more interesting for everyone involved. Each of you create a character. You can stay in the real world or make up your own. Having someone else helps keep you honest with the rules of your universe and challenges you to fix plot holes. Plus, it gives you all something to do when you're bored.
Till next time,
Kureaa
"What if there was this village that was totally burned down by mercenaries- leaving only one survivor, a girl, and a young healer found her, thus igniting THE GREATEST, MOST WONDERFUL AND ENDURING LOVE EVER BORN!"
Far-fetched? Of course. Fun and time-consuming? Hells yes.
The best part about this sort of imagining is that you have to make it work. You have to make an unbelievable plot, full of holes, believable. You have the opportunity to create fantastical worlds and memorable characters while researching about these ideas, making them plausible enough to not sound entirely stupid. You say you want to torture your characters in a dungeon? Great! TO THE GOOGLECAVE!!!
Find out about your subject, research and explore what other authors/ historians have said about the nature of your subject. Then write it down. It always helps me to make notes about what I find...I also get a laugh when other people find my notes.
"Uhhh....Kureaa?"
"Huh? Yeah?"
"Why are you writing about sexual abuse...and whips...chains...and -WHAT?!?!?!"
"Oh! You mean the part about 16th century medicine and cauterizing?"
"....I- I have to leave."
One way to help these imaginings along is though the venue of role playing. You can find one or even a few friends to write a story with you, which would make it more interesting for everyone involved. Each of you create a character. You can stay in the real world or make up your own. Having someone else helps keep you honest with the rules of your universe and challenges you to fix plot holes. Plus, it gives you all something to do when you're bored.
Till next time,
Kureaa
Saturday, July 2, 2011
A Beginning
This is not how my day usually ends. I didn't wake up this morning and decide to make myself a blog...but, here I am...
I would like to promise anyone who ever reads this that The Glass Box will be a blog with consistent posts, wit, fabulous insights on life and general awesomeness. However, this will probably be a blog about a young woman who has no direction in life and tends to kvetch about things far more than she works to change them. I do promise to practice hard at creating something worth reading, though. Any suggestions and/ or comments are appreciated, though, if the comment is in bad taste, it shall be removed.
That said; here I am...a blog writer. I think.
I would like to promise anyone who ever reads this that The Glass Box will be a blog with consistent posts, wit, fabulous insights on life and general awesomeness. However, this will probably be a blog about a young woman who has no direction in life and tends to kvetch about things far more than she works to change them. I do promise to practice hard at creating something worth reading, though. Any suggestions and/ or comments are appreciated, though, if the comment is in bad taste, it shall be removed.
That said; here I am...a blog writer. I think.
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