Today, I did a very bad thing. I stepped on a scale.
Now, being the young and vivacious woman I am, I suppose I should have nothing to worry about. I am- or,well, was -relatively comfortable in my body, I don't have any eating disorders, and gorramit, them Krispy Kremes are so devilishly tempting. But then, your sneaky twin sister goes on Facebook and gushes about how great her put-together life is and how hard it is to find a belt for her size 4-6 jeans and how life is so unfair that Victoria Secret has just so many (squee!) pretty patterned bras that she just can't stand it! Then, you look down at your nutritiously complete breakfast of Sesame Chicken and white rice and you begin to hate yourself.
Oh yes, after I finished my chicken with every contemptuously defiant air I could muster, I pulled out that scale. I stepped on it like Marie Antoinette to the guillotine and I looked down upon my fate. I was neither a very happy, nor a very little piggy. I went through the normal stages of grief: denial, killing things, felling sorry for myself, justifying eating a handful of pretzels, and finally, acceptance. I accept that I will not be showing my face in a bathing suit this summer, but I darn well don't have to like it! I also accept that D-cup bras are better than B-cups, even without the pretty patterns. Put that in your cud and chew it, chickie.
I grumped myself to work and whined about it to a friend who, very conveniently (I had no knowledge of this, I swear), procured Just Dance and Wii Fit for herself. Providential! I now have a exercise buddy! If I ever get up off my butt to walk the two perilous blocks to her house, that is.
I'm not quite sure of my point in all this. Maybe to sift through all the crap your little personal devil is telling you and to come away with at least one thing you can appreciate about yourself? Small consolations still count. So what if I have a tummy to work on? I bring all the boys to the yard. Werk.
"Who wants a twig when you can climb the whole tree?"- Motormouth Maybelle, Hairspray.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Let the First Among Us.
Today, I was witness to something very disturbing and sad. While enjoying the various delicacies of my college's cafeteria, I noticed that one young man was a little more bouncy than usual. In fact, he was dancing to the music. This is not an unexpected occurrence with this young man as he usually bops his way through classes and work and is a generally sunshiny and vivaciously loud person even with the handicap of Asperger Syndrome. Usually, no one gives him much attention and leaves him to do his own thing with a sort of friendly or at least accepting indifference to his antics. Today, however, one young lady was sitting with her friends and watching him. No misdemeanor there, many people watch him. But then came the point where I wish to call attention to. She pulled out her phone and recorded him. At first, I thought it was some sort of between friends "let's tape X and then we'll all laugh about it together with him later" sort of a thing. No harm in taping friends for future blackmail and general merriment, right? Right.
Then, I looked closer. Those were not the laughs of innocent fun, but those speaking a far worse message. They said: "How funny! He's so weird! Ohmaigawd." Those laughs I cannot suffer to continue. Marching myself over there, I asked her if she was friends with him. No. This is where we cue my disapproving look and guttural sigh of derision. Keeping them in check, I told her that her actions were just plain cruel if she wasn't his friend, to which her response was: "He's in one of my classes...and, it's just so funny! I'm not being cruel!"
I repeated my accusation and told her she should do the kind thing and delete the video. She gave me a blank look and then I couldn't take it anymore. I left. But to her and all those who are out there like her, I ask this:
Where is your sense of decency? If you aren't his friend, what purpose do you have for recording this? To upload it onto youtube out of fun? Don't give me that load of crap. How kind do you think the vast reaches of the internet will be to this poor boy? Is it kind and charitable to subject him to that type of ridicule from his peers? If you are keeping this video on you phone to share with your friends for kicks and giggles later, I still ask, what's the point? If you share the video at all, you are still finding amusement at his expense, which is cruel and unwarranted. He did nothing to you.
Maybe this spew of anger from me is unjust, but I don't think so. Please, please, please. For the love of all that is good in this world, think. Grow up and stop this behavior. He can't help himself from feeling joy when he hears music and does not have the social graces and awareness that the rest of us have to contain his joyful dancing. You can help yourself from being mean and publicizing his unintentional foolishness, or even at laughing at him. Just because he is different from you does not make him any less cherished and loved for the person he is. I am not the perfect person, but I have learned that each person is unique and treasured by someone. How dare I mock anyone, especially someone who doesn't have the capacity to recognize or change their behavior to fit to social norms.
Then, I looked closer. Those were not the laughs of innocent fun, but those speaking a far worse message. They said: "How funny! He's so weird! Ohmaigawd." Those laughs I cannot suffer to continue. Marching myself over there, I asked her if she was friends with him. No. This is where we cue my disapproving look and guttural sigh of derision. Keeping them in check, I told her that her actions were just plain cruel if she wasn't his friend, to which her response was: "He's in one of my classes...and, it's just so funny! I'm not being cruel!"
I repeated my accusation and told her she should do the kind thing and delete the video. She gave me a blank look and then I couldn't take it anymore. I left. But to her and all those who are out there like her, I ask this:
Where is your sense of decency? If you aren't his friend, what purpose do you have for recording this? To upload it onto youtube out of fun? Don't give me that load of crap. How kind do you think the vast reaches of the internet will be to this poor boy? Is it kind and charitable to subject him to that type of ridicule from his peers? If you are keeping this video on you phone to share with your friends for kicks and giggles later, I still ask, what's the point? If you share the video at all, you are still finding amusement at his expense, which is cruel and unwarranted. He did nothing to you.
Maybe this spew of anger from me is unjust, but I don't think so. Please, please, please. For the love of all that is good in this world, think. Grow up and stop this behavior. He can't help himself from feeling joy when he hears music and does not have the social graces and awareness that the rest of us have to contain his joyful dancing. You can help yourself from being mean and publicizing his unintentional foolishness, or even at laughing at him. Just because he is different from you does not make him any less cherished and loved for the person he is. I am not the perfect person, but I have learned that each person is unique and treasured by someone. How dare I mock anyone, especially someone who doesn't have the capacity to recognize or change their behavior to fit to social norms.
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