Today, I did a very bad thing. I stepped on a scale.
Now, being the young and vivacious woman I am, I suppose I should have nothing to worry about. I am- or,well, was -relatively comfortable in my body, I don't have any eating disorders, and gorramit, them Krispy Kremes are so devilishly tempting. But then, your sneaky twin sister goes on Facebook and gushes about how great her put-together life is and how hard it is to find a belt for her size 4-6 jeans and how life is so unfair that Victoria Secret has just so many (squee!) pretty patterned bras that she just can't stand it! Then, you look down at your nutritiously complete breakfast of Sesame Chicken and white rice and you begin to hate yourself.
Oh yes, after I finished my chicken with every contemptuously defiant air I could muster, I pulled out that scale. I stepped on it like Marie Antoinette to the guillotine and I looked down upon my fate. I was neither a very happy, nor a very little piggy. I went through the normal stages of grief: denial, killing things, felling sorry for myself, justifying eating a handful of pretzels, and finally, acceptance. I accept that I will not be showing my face in a bathing suit this summer, but I darn well don't have to like it! I also accept that D-cup bras are better than B-cups, even without the pretty patterns. Put that in your cud and chew it, chickie.
I grumped myself to work and whined about it to a friend who, very conveniently (I had no knowledge of this, I swear), procured Just Dance and Wii Fit for herself. Providential! I now have a exercise buddy! If I ever get up off my butt to walk the two perilous blocks to her house, that is.
I'm not quite sure of my point in all this. Maybe to sift through all the crap your little personal devil is telling you and to come away with at least one thing you can appreciate about yourself? Small consolations still count. So what if I have a tummy to work on? I bring all the boys to the yard. Werk.
"Who wants a twig when you can climb the whole tree?"- Motormouth Maybelle, Hairspray.
